HUGE reveal on season two premiere of “This Is Us”

Nah, just kidding. We understand why there are millions of Ussies* devoted to This Is Us, what with NBCUniversal’s inaugural Symphony, cross-channel marketing campaign last season. But it’s not our cup of tea, so you probably won’t see a whole lot about it here.

But while we have your attention…

No doubt future shows will attempt to recreate the success of This Is Us. Here are a few pilot treatments we hear are making the rounds now, looking to capitalize on name recognition alone.

This Is Bus A show about an anthropomorphized New York City bus’ attempts to navigate the topsy-turvy world of a major urban center. Think Thomas the Tank Engine with Tony Soprano’s accent. “ Ehh, I’m drivin’ hea!”

“I need to talk to the American public.” -T.J. “Mucinex” Miller

This Is Mucus The blob of mucus from the Mucinex commercials, as voiced by T.J. Miller, in a half-hour, workplace comedy. Hilarious tension ensues when, no matter how many times he washes his hands before using it, the copy machine always gets covered in highly contagious goop.

This Is Russ Campaign finance is reformed once again, this time via a reality competition show where candidates compete to determine their contributions. Russ Feingold hosts this mashup of Blade Runner and Wheel of Fortune. Think candidates chanting, “Come on, soft money! Soft money!” with the vim and vigor of a charming, Midwestern grandmother of six.  

This Is Mus(to) This docu-series follows former Village Voice columnist Michael Musto as he bikes around the neighborhood. That’s it. This is a spiritual successor to Bob Ross’ The Joy of Painting, a zero-stress program that serves as an antidote to higher-stakes, agitating fare, like, for example, This is Russ.

*Assuming there are some sort of royalties that might be involved with coming up with the glib nickname for the show’s fans? No? Okay.

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